To the Woman Who Is Tired of Starting Over

Dear Friend,

Are you tired? Not just physically tired, but tired of trying so hard to change your life and feeling like you're getting nowhere? Maybe you've told yourself a hundred times that this time would be different, only to find yourself starting over again. I know that feeling all too well.

When I was struggling with addiction, I tried to get sober more times than I can count. I would make up my mind that I was done, that I wasn't going back to that life anymore. And I meant it every single time. But wanting something to change and knowing how to make that change are two very different things.

I remember how discouraging it was to have to start over. There were times when I wondered if I would ever be able to live a different life. I was so tired of making promises I couldn't keep, and eventually, I started losing confidence in myself.

It took me five attempts to get sober at my mom's house before I finally surrendered my life to Jesus. Looking back, I can see that God was working even when I couldn't see it. Those first four attempts weren't the end of my story. I just didn't know that yet.

One thing I've learned through recovery is that I can't do everything on my own. I need God, and I need people who will encourage me and hold me accountable. Asking for help used to feel like admitting defeat, but now I understand that sometimes it's the very thing that helps us move forward.

There's a Scripture that reminds me of how faithful God is, even when life feels like one long struggle.

Lamentations 3:22–23 (NIV) says:

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

I love knowing that God's compassion doesn't run out. Every morning is another opportunity to make a different choice. That doesn't mean yesterday's consequences disappear, but it does mean yesterday doesn't have to control today.

Maybe you're reading this after another setback. Maybe you're embarrassed to tell someone you need help again. Please don't let that stop you. Reach out to someone you trust. Take whatever step you need to take today, even if it feels small.

And remember, recovery isn't always a straight line. There will be difficult days, and there may be setbacks along the way. What matters is that you keep being honest, keep reaching for help, and don't give up on the life you're working toward.

I can't promise that starting over will be easy. But I can tell you that my life today is proof that things can change. There was a time when I couldn't imagine living the life I have now, and I'm so grateful I didn't stop trying.

So if today is another beginning for you, don't spend it worrying about how many times you've started before. Just focus on the next right step.

You may be starting again, but you aren't starting without Him.

With love,

Jana